Bundar kharaab hain.

Macaques are monkeys that are slowly turning into people and are becoming increasingly greedy and deceptive as they evolve. If any of you have been in India, the monkeys that will attack you are macaques. They have shorter tails and pointier faces than most monkeys. They also want whatever people have. That could be your food, your clothes that are hanging out to dry, or your wallet.  One can tell that they are evil by their red faces and intense, beady eyes.

Nick—one of the student researchers who is also taking Hindi here—saw Planet of the Apes: Rise of the Apes before coming to Landour. He is convinced that the macaques need to be put in their place or else monkeys are going to take over.

Victoria and I thought this was a pretty ridiculous story, until disaster struck. I was in the apartment while Victoria was on the roof—roofs are flat here—writing in her journal. All of a sudden the monkeys who had been near the roof starting baring their teeth and screeching at her. As she tried to get to the stairs back down to the apartment, one reached out and tried grabbing her. He did catch her clothes, but she wasn’t bitten or scratched.

After she told us what had happened, we realized that we needed to go get her book bag, which was still up on the roof. We armed ourselves with a mop, a long-handled umbrella, a broom, and a towel—the towel was my suggestion, to make one look bigger. When the monkeys saw us, they did run away. But we found that they had gone through all of Victoria’s things and had ripped the book cover off of her Hindi book. There were also bite marks on her book cover and notebook. Fortunately, her e-reader remained unbitten. I still believe that the monkeys thirst for knowledge and that is why they tried to apprehend Victoria’s books.

At the end of the day, it is very much monkeys versus humans here. When we told the story to one of the Hindi professors he said: “Oh, monkeys are like this. The langurs are still timid now, but they will soon start acting this way.” We were all very shocked that he would be so complacent about the monkeys. In America we destroy the natural world. We don’t put up with living in it.

As a side note, langurs are about the size of an eight-year-old and would be much more dangerous if they actually began attacking people. Actually, langur populations are considered in decline partly because they are less aggressive than other monkeys. They are sacred in Hinduism, which I can understand when there are macaques around to make you look good.

The other day as Nick and I were walking to class, the landlord’s wife began talking to us in Hindi. She said something about bangur, which is monkey in Hindi. The most commonly used negative adjective that we know is kharaab, so Nick asked her if she meant that bangurs are kharaab (or bad.) She nodded, but looked like she meant something more serious. I think that she might have been saying, “Monkeys are little bastards” in Hindi, or something to that end.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macaque

This article does indicate that macaques are commonly used for medical testing. I’d like to note that even though I hate macaques, I don’t think they should be abused. I would however, suggest that only medications for personality disorders be tested on them. Look at this picture and you’ll see my point:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Rhesus_Macaque_%28Macaca_mulatta%29_in_Kinnarsani_WS,_AP_W_IMG_5792.jpg

Then look at this and decide who you would decide is holy:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tarai_gray_langur

I have heard that where I am doing my fieldwork there are no macaques, only langurs, which is a relief.